There Can Only Be One

Devastation. True devastation. That is the only way that I can explain what just happened to me.

The day started off like any other. I was finishing up an awesome new episode of Yo Gabba Gabba when mom & dad both approached me with a ridiculous grin on both of their faces. They picked me up and started randomly giving me kisses and hugs. Weird right? Well, it get's weirder. 

My mom sits me down on her lap and begins to tell me this boring story about how excited my parents were when I was born and how I've been the perfect little bundle of joy. Duh parentals, this is old news. I rock. I start to doze off and day dream about Peggy-Sue when all of a sudden I hear the dreaded words: "YOU'RE GOING TO BE A BIG BROTHER!"

Yup. That just happened. Then they kissed me a million more times and put me down for a nap. Life sucks. Already plotting my revenge. IT hasn't even been born yet and it's already ruined my life. It will be a sweet, sweet revenge. 

There can only be one.

Play date Pimpin'

So, I had my first play date today. The single life is always fun but I like meeting new people and pleasing mommy dearest so, I decided to go through with it.

Play dates are basically what blind dates are to adults. Parents set up their kids with other neighborhood kids and see how they get along. Today, my mom set me up with little Patty-Sue from my toddler swim class. Patty-Sue is the most popular girl in our class and a total babe. Floaties and waterproof Pull-Ups never looked so good. Needless to say, I was psyched.

Our play date couldn't have gone any better. We shared our toys and just talked on and on about life. Our life. Together. Forever. Patty-Sue just get's me. She's way ahead of her time and is the type of woman this baby can't live without. Sorry, ladies. This baby is taken!

The Morning After

Whoah. Talk about a wild party. I'll have to keep this post short since I could really catch up on some z's during nap time today but let me just say, little Timmy down the street sure knows how to par-tay.

T-Dawg turned two yesterday and had one heck of a birthday party. I'm talking a five layer cake, bouncy house, presents, candy, balloons, games, and presents! (Sadly none of them were for me. It's a concept I just don't understand.) His parents hooked him up. Party of the year for sure. I'm definitely hurting today though. Hangover parts I, II, and III for this little party animal. Time to sleep it off. G'nite my peeps!

Diaper Rash Blues

So, I've noticed that most adults seem to love the warm weather and are avid believers of having "fun in the sun." But let me make one thing clear. When you sport a diaper 24/7 and have a lot of cheek-to-cheek action happening down there, there is not a single "fun" thing about it.

Warmer weather typically means an excessive amount of baby powder and pain. Or what I like to call, the Diaper Rash Blues. Like, really mom & dad?! You don't understand why I am screaming my head off and refuse to make my diaper changes quick and easy for you?! Why can't they just let a man be diaper-free?!

Fashion Tips

For those of you who enjoyed my last post and have asked me to post more fashion tips, here it is. What's it take to be a stylin' baby? Confidence. Confidence and originality. I try to keep it real with clothes that say a lot about who I am. There's always a look for every occasion!

For those casual days.

When you feel like getting your education on.

Those party days. Viva Las Grandmas!

[Photo Credit]

Binky Swag

What? Never heard of binky swag? Well, let me introduce you to the world of pacifier pimpin'. I started this collection of cool pacifiers about a week ago and let me tell you, the ladies love it. Here are a few of my top picks:

[Photo Credit]

Heartbreaks & Heartaches

Heartbreak. A life lesson we can all learn from. So, Suzy and I are no more. It all started when I took my first steps and officially became a walking baby and she officially became jealous. I've always been 24 days older than her but age never seemed to matter before. But there comes a time in a baby's life when you realize you have to move on to bigger and better things.

[Photo Credit]

In this crazy game we call love, sometimes heartbreak is just inevitable. Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

A poem about baths

One, two, your unbuckling my shoes?

Three, four, oh no, not that door!

Five, six, this must be fixed.

Seven, eight, its baths I hate!

Nine, ten, never again.

Eleven, twelve, SAVE YOURSELVES!

Thirteen, fourteen, your just plain mean.

Fifteen... fifteen... 

I can only count to fifteen. 

-end-

Why I'm a boss

Gone are the days of rug burns and limitations because this stud is walking.

After chillin' in my walker for a majority of the morning and getting my squats in, I was feeling the burn and I just knew. It was time. This baby was gonna walk.

Mom hears my cry and carries me out of the walker and on to the ground. I approach the nearby couch and my heart is racing. First the right leg, then the left. I take a deep breath and as I toss my pacifier aside, I knew there was no turning back. #yolo.

And three steps later, I'm a man. A walking man. Walking around the living room. Like a boss. Can't wait to strut my stuff at Little Tykes tomorrow. Suzy will be all over me like baby powder on a bad rash. Most importantly, I can't wait to show up the new kid, Paul.

[Photo Credit]

This is Paul. He thinks he's cool. Not cool enough to walk though. Burn.

Teething Hell

So, what's worse than teething? Nothing.

While having your teeth slowly tear and rip through your gums usually always sucks, today was beyond crap. What's a baby gotta do to get some numbing gel around here?? Why do we need teeth anyways? I'm perfectly content with pureed fruits and vegetables for the rest of my days!

Trying to sleep the pain away. Until next time.

Blogging Baby?

Yes. I'm a baby with a blog, calm down.

Got a lot on my mind these days so I thought I'd start me a blog. It's mainly to kill time while the rents think I'm napping. What can I say about myself? I love to crawl, bath times suck, and I'm not a fan of mushed carrots. (Who is?) I don't get out much since I can't walk yet. Crawling is cool but inefficient. I go to Little Tikes Daycare down the street. That's where I met my girlfriend, Suzy. She's pretty cool. Here's a pic of her:

[Photo Credit]

The girl looks good in a walker. Anyways, nap time's just about over so, until next time.